You can’t 100% avoid tearing during childbirth, but you can certainly do certain things to minimize your chances of injury.
IN THIS ARTICLE
Many moms, regardless of whether they’re a first-time mama or a mom of many, have fears of tearing during birth. Some more than others, but that fear is there for most of us.
My goal with this post is to help you prepare for labor! I want to share with you the realities of birth while giving you hope that it can reduce your risk of injury.
First, there are four degrees of tearing.
Here are the types of tears that are possible during childbirth.
- 1st-degree tear: Superficial, a cut on the surface where no muscles are involved. Few or no stitches are required.
- 2nd-degree tear: A deeper cut where muscles are involved. Stitches required.
- 3rd-degree tear: A tear in the vaginal tissue, perineal skin, and perineal muscles. Stitches required.
- 4th-degree tear: A tear in vaginal tissue, perineal skin, perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and tissue underneath. Stitches required.
Because this is such a hot topic, I reached out to some of my awesome mom friends to have them chime in on their experiences with tearing during childbirth. These real mamas also share what they believe helped them not tear during subsequent births, as well as words of wisdom for moms who are worried about tearing during labor.
Tips and Advice from 8 Moms on Tearing During Childbirth
Carly
- What caused you to tear during birth?
I believe the tear was caused by pushing as hard as I possibly could without consciously relaxing at all. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
The second time, I didn’t “push” – I let my BODY push – and I also made a conscious effort to relax my hands. My friend told me that when your hands are relaxed, your whole body will relax. - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Trust that your body CAN do this – it was designed to do this! You don’t have to “work” that hard to get baby out.
Jessica
- What caused you to tear during birth?
My son was in a posterior position. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
I was adamant about a last-minute ultrasound by my midwife to be sure my second baby was in proper position. I also went through pelvic floor physical therapy and did kegels throughout my pregnancy! - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
I’d encourage you to be diligent in requesting for your doctor or midwife to check for a posterior position. And, as much as we all dread them-kegels! Do them!
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Christy
- What caused you to tear during birth?
My first birth, I had an epidural and hated that I couldn’t feel ANYTHING. They told me to push and I had no idea if I was actually pushing! I know my pushes were less than effective, so I ended up with a 2nd-degree tear. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
With my second birth, I had been preparing with hypnobirthing and hired a doula to support me through an unmedicated birth. My listening to hypnobirthing, while I fell asleep at night, must have worked a little too well because I woke up in the middle of the night with contractions already 3 mins apart. I allowed my body to do all the work and my nurse stretched me during very gentle pushing to help me deliver my 9lb 7oz baby in OB triage without my doula or even the doctor! (He didn’t make it on time!) - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Birth can be scary because you don’t really know what happens until you’ve been through it. Trust your body, read Ina May’s book, and know that every birth is beautiful, no matter how the babe arrives.
April
- What caused you to tear during birth?
My first labor was so difficult. I wasn’t fully prepared and fought the pain instead of trusting my body. The nursing staff never asked if I felt like pushing, they just told me to push. My body wasn’t ready and I tore and hurt for a long time. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
I trusted myself and my body. My husband became my advocate in the delivery room, and kept me calm and supported. He knew my birth plan and backed me up when I couldn’t talk. I listened to my body and let it do what it wanted to do. - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Your body knows what it’s doing. Trust yourself, trust your body.
Dana
- What caused you to tear during birth?
My first birth was very fast! I delivered within 45 minutes of arriving at the hospital. I think the rush of the entire experience could have to do with it. - How did you avoid tearing during birth [B]
I was at the hospital with some time to spare the second time around! My midwife was experienced and I could feel her pulling and massaging the opening to help my baby enter the world without hurting me. I really think that had a lot to do with not tearing. - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Relax. Your body knows what it is doing…let your body take over and do what it’s supposed to do.
Tiffany
- What caused you to tear during birth?
I was coerced into being induced with my firstborn, and my body wasn’t ready. It took three days in the hospital before my daughter made an appearance. All that stress on my body led to tearing and to a 2nd degree episiotomy because I was too tired to keep pushing much longer. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
For my second birth, I went to the birth center after my body had gone into labor on its own. I spent lots of time walking around and gave birth squatting and standing. I think the gravity and the exercise helped my body to give birth to my 9 pound 3 ounce baby boy with (relative) ease. - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Your body knows what to do. Give it time to get your baby out and you will hopefully avoid any major tearing.
Jenna
- What caused you to tear during birth?
My OB not giving me adequate support and requiring me to be in stirrups and on my back. This was my 2nd birth with no tears during my first. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
I went on to give birth to six more babies (including a 9lb baby) without any tears. I attribute it to proper support and position. - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Follow your body’s cues. Have a support person watching your skin around the baby’s head so that when it loses color, you stop pushing and just breathe through. When color returns, you can continue to push without tearing.
Ashleigh
- What caused you to tear during birth?
I was coached while pushing, which made me push WAY too hard, I was also forced on my back for my OB’s convenience. - How did you avoid tearing during birth?
I waited for FER reflex (the body’s natural urge to push the baby out involuntarily) and I pushed while in a kneeling position. - What are some words of wisdom you can share with a mom who is scared of tearing during childbirth?
Choose a position that feels right (try to stay off your back), wait for the FER reflex to push, and do not allow anyone in the room to coach you to push. Your body knows what to do… Listen.
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I was literally JUST thinking about vaginal tearing when this popped into my inbox! Hahaha! Thanks for this! Hoping for no tears with Baby #3! Laughing gas isn’t a standard option for us in the US. I’d have to do more research on it because I think you can request laughing gas, and it does interest me, but from what I’ve read, it can negatively affect some moms with the MTHFR gene mutation because their bodies can’t properly detox. Definitely worth looking into! By the way, your redesign is lovely.
This is great! Thanks for sharing – loved hearing from other real mums and learning from their experiences. I tore with my first and required lots of stitches…and in hind sight I believe it was just from pushing too hard and not waiting for my body to take over more. I will know for next time…I’m going to be really ginger on the pushing! xx
You’re welcome and thanks for reading! Definitely listening to your body is important and can definitely help with lowering your chances of experience trauma next time.
Take care! xx
Ouchies! Thank you for sharing these stories and tips! Some of us slide through without much damage but I know the wisdom shared here will make a difference for a lot of mamas!
Yes! Thanks so much for reading mama!
xx