How To Potty Train With Toddler-Led Potty Training

Change is hard, especially when you’ve been accustomed to peeing your diaper for months on end. And then all of a sudden, your grown-up wants you to pee where?!

Thinking about it from your toddler’s perspective, potty training is a big life change. Let’s honor that as we begin this process.

And that’s why I want you to handle it with grace and patience. The best way to achieve this is to work with your little one, not to force potty-training on them in a weekend.

We’ve attempted potty training a few times in the past and it didn’t quite work out. It wasn’t until I decided to switch up my method that things started to change. If you’re looking for a stress-free way to potty train your toddler without spending hours on end in the bathroom, this toddler-led potty training method may be for you.

What is Toddler-Led Potty Training?

Toddler-led potty training means allowing your toddler to show you readiness cues, whether verbal or physical, that he or she needs to use the bathroom instead of putting them on the toilet at specific times.

It’s less about forcing them to use the potty on my schedule and more about encouraging them to use the potty.

Why Did I Choose This Potty Training Method?

I wanted a stress-free potty training method that would allow my kids to gain some autonomy by leading me to train them according to their actual needs, and to start understanding and learning how to control their bodily functions.

I didn’t like the idea of forcing it on my child over a weekend or a couple of days. I didn’t like the idea of teaching the potty by letting my child urinate on himself purposely.

It just felt right and respectful to go with this potty training method.

Before You Start Potty Training: Cues to Look For

There are cues that your child will show you that indicate they are ready to be potty trained. Don’t start potty training before you see these signs of readiness.

For this method, these cues are important because they show you that your child is just as fed up as you are with diapers, so they’ll work hard at getting themselves to use the toilet.

These are the three that showed me that my son was ready to ditch his diapers:

• Following me to the bathroom and asking me what I’m doing. This was quite awkward because he would get really close and try to peep into the toilet.
• Throwing tantrums every time his diaper needed to be changed.
• Hiding in a corner any time he needed to relieve himself in his diaper.

Toddler-Led Potty Training Must-Haves

• Potty Seat: I like to start with a potty seat and keep one in the playroom and living room long before we even begin to potty train. Another option is to use a toilet seat topper.
• Stool: This one is great for use in the bathroom and kitchen and it actually grows with your kid!
• Hand wash: You’ll wash your hands a lot more than you probably already do. We use Branch Basics for handsoap, which is amazing and non-drying!
• Mattress protector: If you don’t have one of these for your child’s bed, I recommend getting one ASAP.
• Comfortable underwear: I love the idea of letting your child pick out their own underwear.

6 Simple Steps to Successful Toddler-Led Potty Training

1. Get in the potty-training mindset before you begin.

I get it. Resisting the urge to throw a diaper on your toddler can be pretty hard to fight. Especially when you’ve got another baby running around and 35,932 other things to do. Mental load, right?

Consistency is what I struggled with during my first two failed potty training attempts. I tried to follow all of the potty training advice and having my toddler going to the bathroom every 30 minutes while I was also caring for a baby quickly wore us out.

After months of procrastinating, I eventually I found a stress-free method that works for us. Since we began toddler-led potty training, we’ve only had about three accidents, and they happened during the first two weeks.

I know potty training can be quite challenging, but if you want to achieve diaper freedom, it’s important that you stick to it.

2. Prepare yourself for potty accidents

With the 3-Day potty training method, your child is on the toilet all. the. time. 

With the toddler-led potty training method, your child is spending much less time on the toilet but you’ll have to constantly be on the lookout out for physical cues that indicate your child’s needs to use the bathroom.

You’ll also have to rely on them to ask you to use the bathroom in a timely manner.

Accidents are not something you can avoid, especially during those first couple of weeks when your child is learning to get used to life without a diaper. Learning something new can be challenging, but remember that accidents are normal! They are a part of learning.

Laying a towel on your furniture and using leggings or pants help keep the mess to a minimum.

3. Repeat, repeat, repeat

Where do we pee?

I had this conversation with my little one several times a day, and although there were times where he did get annoyed, I believe it helped prevent accidents by reminding him that he’s not wearing a diaper.

I know this may sound very silly for some, but not only did it often lead us into full-blown giggles, it helped remind my son of where exactly he needs to go to relieve him.

It’s easy for little children to get distracted especially when they are learning something new that isn’t necessarily fun so reminding the often is key.

4. Start with daytime potty training

I decided to start with daytime potty training.

It just seemed easier than nighttime training because my child is awake and is aware of his need or lack thereof to go to the bathroom. This is also age-dependent. If you’re potty training a four-year-old instead of a two-year-old, you might feel comfortable going cold turkey around the clock from the very beginning.

During the day, my little one wore his underwear and training diapers (pull-ups) at night until he started feeling confident at night.

I decided not to use Pull-Ups during the day because they prevent the child from feeling wet if they do have an accident, and prolong the process of potty training.

Put your toddler in cotton pants or leggings to help keep things as clean as possible.

5. Provide your toddler with entertainment and be patient

The 1st and 2nd weeks were the toughest. In order for us both not to lose our minds, entertainment was a must! What kept us all in a good mood while he was on the toilet was his tablet.

From what I know it is quite common for kids to hold their pee while potty training. Just think about it. They’re going from peeing whenever they want into a dipaer, to sitting down and having to pee in what appears to be a strange white contraption. It will take some time for them to get used to it. For those first couple of weeks, we were spending between 15 to 25 minutes in the bathroom each time.

One thing that did help us was turning on the tap while he’s on the toilet. The sounds of the water running actually helped him pee during those early potty training days. You can also try using hand motions to encourage them to release.

Now that we’ve been potty training for almost a month, our time spent in the bathroom has drastically decreased. We spend maybe 2 minutes in there. Unless he’s going #2 of course.

6. Reward and celebrate

I only offered treats for the first week because I just didn’t want him to develop a habit I would have a problem keeping up with. Can you imagine if your little one would always expect a reward after using the potty, indefinitely? Um, no.

I’d alternate between stickers, dark chocolate chips, and organic fruit snacks.

After a week, I stopped and just kept praising him and making a big deal every time he used the toilet. All that clapping and singing took his mind off the treats. 😁

My child thrives off of words of affirmation, so the praising and constant words of encouragement really worked for us.

You don’t have to use treats, but if you do, find something that works for you (raisins, maybe?) and also wean your child off as you go so they don’t expect special treats each time they go use the toilet.