When it comes to baby and toddler sleep, we as natural mamas do our best to follow our instincts and respond to our children’s needs… without the use of harsh sleep training methods or forced crying. However, even with the best intentions, it’s easy to fall too far in the opposite direction and make sleep mistakes that can unknowingly affect your little one’s sleep. The good news? These missteps have simple, practical solutions! Let’s explore the most common baby sleep mistakes natural parents make and how to fix them.
Struggling with your baby’s sleep? I’m here to help. Join my affordable holistic sleep membership, the Gentle Sleep Society, for expert guidance, practical tips, and a supportive community. Use code GENTLESLEEP to save 20% today and start your journey to better sleep!
1. Over-Relying on Contact Naps
The Mistake: Contact naps are great and they can be a beautiful bonding experience, but exclusively relying on them may make it challenging for your baby to learn to nap independently. Unless you have the time and flexibility to contact nap at all naptimes, this usually isn’t sustainable for mama or baby and it can lead to confusion for your little sleeper when you’re not available for a contact nap.
The Fix: Gradually transition to at least one crib or bassinet nap per day. Start by soothing your baby in your arms and then placing them down once they’re ready to be put down or once they’ve fallen into a deep sleep in your arms. If this doesn’t work, you can start to wean off contact napping by getting up during your baby’s nap so that they wake up on their own; eventually, this will become a normal part of the napping process and helps build a little sleep independence. This also helps build their comfort with independent sleep while preserving those sweet contact naps.
2. Ignoring Sleep Cues
The Mistake: One of the things we natural mamas try to avoid is having a rigid sleep schedule for our little ones. This should be applauded! Yes, it’s important to be flexible when it comes to baby sleep, but being too flexible and missing your baby’s sleep cues can lead to an overtired baby. This makes getting them to sleep more difficult and can interfere with the duration and quality of their sleep. (Being overtired is a common cause of frequent night-wakings, for example.)
The Fix: Be sure to observe your child closely for signs of tiredness, such as rubbing their eyes, yawning, or becoming fussy. Establish a flexible but consistent sleep routine that respects their natural rhythms and ensures they go down for a nap or bedtime before overtiredness sets in.
3. Skipping a Calming Bedtime Routine
The Mistake: In the busyness of parenting, skipping the bedtime routine can leave your baby unprepared for sleep.
The Fix: Create a simple, consistent bedtime routine that you can commit to. This could include a warm bath, gentle massage, a calming bedtime story, or a soothing lullaby. These cues signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down for the night or go down for a nap. And the best part is that it doesn’t have to be long or drawn out. It’s simply about communicating to your baby that a certain order of events (e.g., bath, pajamas, book, feeding) means that it’s almost time to sleep.
Struggling with your baby’s sleep? I’m here to help. Join my affordable holistic sleep membership, the Gentle Sleep Society, for expert guidance, practical tips, and a supportive community. Use code GENTLESLEEP to save 20% today and start your journey to better sleep!
4. Keeping the Room Too Bright
The Mistake: It’s wonderful to expose babies to natural light during the day, but too much brightness at bedtime or overnight can make it harder for them to sleep and even disrupt melatonin production. Some babies can sleep in any environment, while others might be more sensitive to light during the day.
The Fix: Close the shades or shutters during the day and for overnight sleep. If your window treatments don’t block light very well, you could add blackout curtains to create a dark sleep environment for overnight sleep. (Some babies need this during the day too, but I usually recommend only using them at night unless absolutely required.) For nighttime feedings or diaper changes, opt for a dim, warm nightlight that won’t emit blue light to avoid overstimulating your baby.
5. Turning Against Their Better Instincts
The Mistake: There’s no denying that sleep is hard for the first couple of years for most families. Even the best of sleepers go through different phases and sleep progressions, so no one is really safe from sleep challenges, let alone those little ones that have issues causing them to wake frequently.
Sometimes, parents can get so exhausted and frustrated with their child’s lack of sleep that they turn away from their own instincts and entertain sleep training techniques (intentionally or not). One of the biggest downsides of this is that most sleep coaching is simply a modified form of Ferber crying methods, even when the coaches often use words like “gentle”, “no cry”, or “holistic”. It’s really hard to know who to trust in the sleep training industry, and speaking from experience, it’s easy to ignore your instincts and end up trying out harsh sleep methods. This is the mistake I made and I wish I could turn back time and try a holistic approach instead 😟
The Fix: There is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but the best advice I can offer is to try to remain strong in your beliefs and stay committed to your natural and gentle parenting beliefs around baby sleep. For some families, this could mean safe cosleeping, whereas for other families, this might entail night weaning at an appropriate age or fostering more connection during the day.
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There isn’t a simple answer because online harsh sleep training methods, there isn’t just one approach. As natural parents, we don’t believe in not responding to our children’s cries or attending to their needs. So you can’t really compare anything you’re doing with the ease and simplicity of sleep training. The good news is that gentle and holistic sleep programs do exist if you need sleep support. My group coaching program, Gentle Sleep Society, helps give you access to a holistic baby sleep coach at a fraction of the price… to help you focus on gradual, respectful changes that align with your natural parenting principles.
Sometimes it’s as simple as adjusting the sleep environment, shifting nap times, or introducing new sleep associations. If you need more personalized support (without the hefty price tag), join us in Gentle Sleep Society.
6. Neglecting the Sleep Environment
The Mistake: Overlooking factors like temperature, air quality, clothing discomforts, and noise can negatively impact your baby’s sleep. Yes, it’s wonderful to have a baby learn to sleep in any environment, but is it realistic? Some babies are terrific sleepers and can sleep through the noise of a vacuum, the doorbell, and even older siblings playing nearby; however, most babies can’t.
Other environmental factors can affect a baby’s sleep and cause frequent wakeups, such as the room temperature being too hot or cold, EMFs in the room, or their clothing bothering them. Remember that they’re little humans too, and are likely sensitive to these environmental sleep disruptions, so be sure not to overlook these factors when trying to figure out why your baby keeps waking up.
The Fix: Keep the temperature of the nursery between 68-72°F, use a white noise machine to block or mute sudden sounds, and ensure good air quality with a high-quality air purifier. Non-toxic bedding and furniture also create a safer, more comfortable space.
7. Letting Parental Burnout Go Unaddressed
The Mistake: Putting your baby’s needs first is natural, but ignoring your own well-being can lead to burnout and impact your ability to parent effectively. Natural mamas have the best intentions, but baby sleep challenges are hard because babies are biologically designed to wake frequently. That’s why it’s important to not work against this that you’re spinning your wheels and exhausting yourself.
The Fix: Take time to rest and recharge. Don’t hold yourself to unreasonable standards and expectations; how well your baby sleeps is not a reflection of you as a parent. Share nighttime responsibilities with your partner or a trusted family member, and lean on supportive communities (like this one!) for encouragement and tips.
Struggling with your baby’s sleep? I’m here to help. Join my affordable holistic sleep membership, the Gentle Sleep Society, for expert guidance, practical tips, and a supportive community. Use code GENTLESLEEP to save 20% today and start your journey to better sleep!
8. Inconsistency in Sleep Routines
The Mistake: Constantly changing routines can confuse your baby and disrupt their sleep.
The Fix: Aim for consistency in your baby’s sleep routine while allowing some flexibility. Keep wake-up times, naps, and bedtimes within a predictable range. Over time, this helps regulate your baby’s internal clock and also helps establish healthy sleep habits.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is a journey of trial and error, and sleep can be one of the biggest challenges for natural-minded mamas like us because we refuse to turn to easy fixes like sleep training. By addressing these common mistakes and implementing some gentle fixes, you can create a loving, supportive sleep environment that works for your baby and your family.
You’ve got this! For more tips and personalized guidance, consider joining the Gentle Sleep Society for exclusive resources, live Q&A sessions, and a community of supportive parents.
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