Pregnancy and Postpartum in My Mid-40s Were the Easiest of My Life. Here’s Why.

If you’re planning a pregnancy in your 40s, I’d bet you’ve been told that you might have a difficult pregnancy. That you’re automatically high risk because of your age. The one where your body “finally sends you the bill” for waiting.

Yeah, no. You can take that with a grain of salt. Because I’m proof that that’s not automatically true for everyone.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got pregnant at 45 with my third child. I braced myself and held my breath, secretly hoping that everything would go smoothly. And then I had the easiest pregnancy and the smoothest recovery of my whole life.

At 45, with two prior pregnancies and two older kids to compare it to.

So now I want to scream this from the rooftops because I really think the fear we carry into these years does more harm than necessary. I’m not here to promise you’ll have the exact same experience I did, and that the risks and challenges aren’t real, but I want you to see that “older” doesn’t always automatically mean “harder”.

My 40s pregnancy was my easiest, and I didn’t see it coming

I’ve got three pregnancies to compare now. And this last one, the one everybody worried about, was probably the gentlest by far.

I stayed optimistic the entire time, though, yes a part of me stayed on high alert throughout the entire pregnancy. That’s honestly why, as a blogger with over 300K members in my communities, I didn’t even announce my pregnancy until well after giving birth.

But, thankfully, the scary part just didn’t happen. I felt good, strong, and healthy throughout my entire pregnancy. I mostly felt like myself, only pregnant, the same way I did in my thirties. Honestly, maybe even better than both of my previous pregnancies.

And please know, I’m not saying that to brag. And I’m really not saying it’s a sure thing for anyone. I’m saying it because someone needs to say it out loud: abeautiful pregnancy after 40 is a normal thing that happens to many women. It happened to me.

When people ask what was hard on my body this time, the honest answer is kind of funny. Varicose veins. That was it. My main pregnancy struggle. And here’s what I think matters most. I had them in all three of my pregnancies. Two in my thirties, one in my forties.

I also had low iron levels during my pregnancy, but that is in line with my iron levels going into pregnancy. Thankfully, I was able to avoid getting an iron infusion.

But, all in all, there was no new scary twist because of my age. Just the same achy, bulging veins (omg, they’re awful, IYKYK) I’d dealt with before, showing up right on time. When I really compare my body across all three, there wasn’t much difference at all, except that I was stronger and more confident throughout my entire pregnancy.

That whole “everything falls apart after 40” story just wasn’t true for me and I attribute that to the pre-pregnancy work I did.

What I think actually made the difference

Here’s the part I can’t prove, but I feel it deep down. This was not just luck; it was all the work I’d already put in, long before there was ever a pregnancy. For years, I’d been taking care of my body on purpose. Eating real food. Filling in the gaps where I was running low (this is key, and this is different for everyone). Taking my supplements and keeping up the little daily habits I’ve built my whole life around. I spent two years at the sauna studio near my house using an infrared sauna as often as possible, and as often as my budget would allow.

None of it was a plan to get pregnant, though the idea was still at the back of my mind for a long time, even while we were dealing with secondary infertility. But this was just how I lived; and if you’ve followed me for any time, you’ll know what I mean. This is my lifestyle.

And so by the time I got pregnant, my body wasn’t running on empty. It had something to give this time. And this is what’s different than my first two pregnancies.

I want to be careful here, because I’m not a doctor and I can’t promise you cause and effect. But if you asked me what mattered most, it’s the work I did before. Pregnancy isn’t something to force or something we can cram for at the last minute. The good stuff has to happen ahead of time, so your body has something to lean on when it counts.

I talk more about how I ended up getting pregnant naturally at the age of 45, but it truly comes down to the things I said above. Yes, I did start a specific supplement routine to address my own nutritional gaps, and made some lifestyle changes that probably are the reason I got pregnant after 8 years of secondary fertility. (And I share each of these and exactly what I did that got me pregnant — when we weren’t even trying — in my mini-course Fertile After 40. If you want to get into the mindset and the specifics with me, join us!)

The hardest part wasn’t my body. It was my head.

If I’m being really honest with you, the hardest part of this pregnancy wasn’t physical at all. It was that I spent so much of it holding my breath.

I knew the risks and the downside. And even though I felt good day after day, part of me kept waiting for the okay to finally relax. It never really came until I gave birth and it was all behind me. And that’s why I didn’t share the news until my baby had already been here for a few months, safe in my arms.

I’m telling you this because if you’re doing the same thing, guarding your happiness, quietly bracing yourself, not letting yourself get too excited yet, you are not being dramatic. And you are not doing it wrong. It’s one of the most normal things in the world. Be gentle with yourself and understand that you’re carrying a lot right now.

Postpartum was so good, and I don’t say that lightly

The part the internet said would wreck me, the recovery they promised would be so much harder at my age, ended up being the sweetest, calmest stretch of the whole thing.

I healed well and I healed quickly. I didn’t have a postpartum stench at all this time around and I never even so much as had the baby blues. I felt like myself again faster than I thought I would, and I got to just be with my baby instead of struggling through recovery. I still got to make my kids’ lunches for school and I was able to be present for my big kids, even going to their baseball games once the season started.

And I really do believe I have all that early nutrition, mindset, and baby prep work to thank for it. My body had something saved up for when it needed to heal and my postpartum experience was well planned for.

Honestly, the hardest thing I experienced postpartum during my ripe old age of 45? It was back pain. That was mainly from carrying the baby so much, and I was able to make a couple of purchases that helped a lot:

• First, a better postpartum nursery glider that was a dream to nurse in. The chair I bought is so comfortable and was such a game-changer for my back pain… I highly recommend it for every mama postpartum.
• Second, was a better baby carrier. I balked at spending nearly $200 on a baby carrier, but once I tried this carrier, it felt like all the pressure was lifted off my back. And it truly felt like it was built for my body; such a stark difference from the $50 carrier I was previously using.
• And finally, was this breastfeeding stool combined with a good breastfeeding pillow. This was so helpful during the first two months of breastfeeding that I am shocked more people don’t use them. It truly helped with my back pain (which was largely from hunching over to nurse the baby).

I wish so much that every woman could have a recovery like this. And I have to be honest, not everyone will, no matter what they do. A hard postpartum is never anyone’s fault. It’s never proof you didn’t try hard enough. But if there’s one thing that can tip the odds toward an easier one, I really believe it’s the nourishing you do ahead of time.

If you’re not pregnant yet, start now

If I could hand you just one thing from all of this, it’s this. Don’t wait for the positive test to start taking care of the body that’s going to do this amazing thing.

You don’t need a perfect diet. You don’t need a shelf full of supplements or some big life makeover. You just need to start feeding yourself well, filling in the gaps, hydrating, and being a little kinder to your body. Gently. A little at a time. Starting now. That quiet, boring, before-anything-happens work is the foundation everything else got to stand on for me.

If you’re in your late thirties or even your mid forties, you’re not too old for a beautiful pregnancy. You might be a lot closer to your best one than anyone ever told you.

Recommended:

• I Got Pregnant Naturally and Had a Baby at 45
• Fertile After 40: Exactly What I Did to Get Pregnant Naturally at 45
• Just Found Out You’re Pregnant? 14 Things to Do First
• 10 Chemicals to Avoid During Pregnancy (and What to Do Instead)