Wondering when babies actually sleep through the night? The truth is surprising!
Sleep is a fundamental need for all humans, but with a baby in the house, it can feel like a constant struggle. Of course, we all enter into parenthood knowing that caring for our children at all hours of the night will be challenging. But there’s no way to know what to expect until you’re holding your baby in your arms wondering why they just won’t sleep. And even if your baby seems to sleep okay, it’s incredibly common to worry that your baby isn’t sleeping enough or question that you’re doing something wrong.
Trust me, mama, I’ve been there twice. I didn’t have one of those miracle babies that sleeps like magic. Instead, my oldest woke me up every 30 minutes at one point. So, please let me help you learn from all the mistakes I made as a new mom trying to navigate baby sleep. I want you to know the honest truth about when babies sleep through the night so that you can have the right expectations from your sweet little one. Setting the right expectations about your baby’s sleep can help make all the difference in how you approach any baby sleep challenges that come up.
One of the last things I want is for a baby to be sleep-trained if that can be prevented. And I think it all comes down to the expectations we have about baby sleep. So, let’s explore what realistic baby sleep looks like, when to expect your baby to sleep through the night, and how to align your expectations with a gentle, holistic perspective on baby sleep!
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Why We All Start Off With Unrealistic Expectations About Baby Sleep
One of the biggest problems is that society gives us wildly unrealistic expectations about baby sleep, which starts parents off on the wrong foot. So try and dig deep and think about some of the subconscious thoughts and expectations you have heard about baby sleep. Have you heard or experienced any of the following?
- You’re told your baby “should be sleeping through the night” before [insert random age].
- That mom at playgroup boasts about her baby sleeping through the night (but she won’t tell you that it only happened once).
- Your pediatrician will tell you to start sleep training as soon as your baby turns 4 months of age.
- Or there is that one mom at the park who looks so well-rested… but she has an overnight postpartum doula she isn’t telling you about.
- Strangers will even ask you how your baby is sleeping.
- What about when people say they “slept like a baby”? (They really don’t know much about how babies sleep!)
If you’ve heard comments like this, even in passing, you might subconsciously have bought into these ideas about baby sleep. And if you believe these things, it can truthfully mess with your head and start you off on the wrong foot when it comes to baby sleep.
Because there’s a whole different perspective about baby sleep that most people don’t know about and aren’t talking about. For example, when exhausted parents hear that their baby should be sleeping through the night by five or six months of age, they aren’t getting the full picture. Sleeping through the night for babies refers to sleeping 6-8 hour stretches at a time. It doesn’t imply that they sleep 10-12 hours a night (which isn’t necessarily even healthy for babies).
So what happens when parents get this awful mixture of bad advice and mixed signals?
They start to question themselves and how “well” their baby is sleeping. They can even become obsessed with how much their baby is sleeping. I’ve seen it time and time again, and made the mistake myself… how much their baby sleeps becomes a measure of their success. I went through that and it’s something that even comes up in my holistic baby sleep community.
And then, parents start to question whether they’re doing the right thing. They might fix something that isn’t broken and inadvertently mess with their baby’s sleep. Or worse, they turn to Cry It Out techniques and harsh sleep training systems to force their child to sleep.
The Gentle Truth: All Babies Sleep Differently
Some babies will naturally sleep through the night earlier than others. Other babies might not sleep through the night until well past their first (or second) birthday. Some babies might be struggling with reflux, eczema, or other challenges that might make sleeping through the night take much longer to achieve than other littles.
Every baby is different, so any generalizations about when a baby should be sleeping through the night can be ignored.
Generalizations about when a baby should be sleeping through the night can be ignored.
The truth is that few babies will routinely sleep through the night before they are even six months old.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, over 50% of infants do not sleep through the night by the age of six months. And around 28% of babies will still wake at night at the age of 12 months.
These “rules” of sleeping through the night can’t account for the differences in a child’s developmental milestones, sleep cycles, and individual needs. While some babies may sleep through the night early on, others won’t — even within the same family — and that’s normal.
Night Waking is Biologically Normal
So, instead of feeling down in the dumps about how well your baby is sleeping, I want you to know what to reasonably expect based on your little one’s age. Understanding developmental sleep norms can help you adjust your expectations and provide the best support for your baby.
You might be desperate for some solid sleep, but it’s important to remember that all children will eventually sleep through the night when they’re ready. That might be 5-6 months for some babies or take a year or longer for other children.
Newborns (0-1 Month)
Newborns have unpredictable sleep patterns and often eat every 2-3 hours, sometimes even hourly during cluster feeding periods. After feeding, they may fall asleep quickly. Most babies fall asleep after eating in these early weeks as well.
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During this first month, it’s common for babies to have their days and nights reversed, which is quite normal. It takes a few weeks to get those cycles reversed the way that they should be. Newborns can sleep upwards of 18 hours in a 24-hour span.
During this stage:
- Newborns often have their days and nights reversed.
- They may sleep up to 18 hours in a 24-hour period, though in short bursts.
- Their sleep is driven by hunger, exhaustion and recovery from birth, and rapid development rather than routines.
2-4 Months
Around two months old, babies might sleep two to four-hour stretches at night. They take several naps throughout the day. Somewhere in this range, they might be able to sleep even longer stretches, but that’s not the case for all babies.
As your baby grows, you may notice slightly longer sleep stretches at night. However, it’s important to remain flexible and adaptable to your baby’s changing sleep habits.
- Babies may sleep 2-4 hour stretches at a time during the night.
- Daytime naps may be frequent and irregular. Please note that this is NORMAL.
- Developmental milestones, such as smiling and cooing, can temporarily disrupt sleep patterns. This is also normal.
4-6 Months
Now, those catnaps start to develop into a more fixed napping schedule. Those naps might actually make a pattern, and now is the time to really work on creating a sleep routine for yourself and your baby. The time of the naps might vary a bit, but it can roughly be the same on most days.
At this age, most babies will sleep 14 to 18 hours in a 24-hour period. Babies will still wake to feed at night at this age, and that’s quite normal. You can try feeding more throughout the day to see if it helps reduce the number of night feedings, but this won’t work for all babies. Also totally normal.
You may have heard of the 4-month sleep regression, and yes, it is a thing. The 4-month sleep challenge is one of the hardest. During this time, parents see their babies who once slept well suddenly not sleeping well at all. It can last for weeks. Realize that this sleep regression is common and most babies will go through these challenges!
Around this age, you may notice the emergence of more predictable patterns:
- Naps might consolidate into a more structured schedule.
- Babies sleep 14-18 hours in a 24-hour period but still wake for night feedings.
- The 4-month sleep regression is common as babies’ sleep cycles mature, leading to increased night waking. They’re coming out of the newborn haze and starting to become more aware of their surroundings, so consistent, soothing routines can help navigate this phase.
6-12 Months
By now, if your baby isn’t sleeping through the night, you may want to start stressing, but don’t! Remember the earlier study that showed 27% won’t sleep through the night by 12 months.
At this age, your baby should take 1 to 2 naps, lasting 1 to 2 hours each. Some babies sleep longer than that, and some babies consolidate their naps into one or two. They tend to go to bed between 6 PM and 10 PM, and most still tend to wake up during the night.
A child’s sleep becomes more organized around this age, though it’s still normal for many babies to wake during the night:
- Babies take 1-3 naps daily, lasting 1-2 hours each.
- Bedtimes typically fall between 6 PM and 8 PM, though I am a fan of an early 6-7pm bedtime.
- Some babies may consolidate their naps, while others continue to need two or three per day.
- Remember: 27.9% of babies are still not sleeping through the night at 12 months. It is natural and normal for your baby to be waking in the middle of the night at this stage.
Embracing Realistic Expectations About Baby Sleep
While sleep deprivation is challenging (even excruciating), it’s important to remember that every baby is unique. Your neighbor’s baby who slept through the night at 7 weeks old is not the benchmark for your child’s sleep journey. Babies eventually learn to sleep longer stretches when they are developmentally ready. This could happen at 5 months, 12 months, or even later.
In the meantime, here are a few things you can do to help you and your little one navigate the challenges of baby sleep.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Focus on progress rather than perfection. Even an extra 30 minutes of sleep is worth celebrating. Try to have a go-to activity to do while your baby naps so that you aren’t suddenly wondering how to spend your extra few minutes of naptime.
- Create a Consistent Routine: Gentle routines can signal to your baby that it’s time for sleep. This might include dimming the lights, reading a book, or singing a lullaby during the day while your baby’s bedtime routine might include a bath or look a little different.
- Prioritize Connection: A child’s need for closeness doesn’t stop at bedtime. Responding to their cues fosters trust and security, which are essential for healthy sleep development.
- Take Care of Yourself: Your well-being matters, too. Don’t hesitate to ask for help and give yourself grace during sleepless nights. New motherhood is hard, no matter how old or young your little one might be, so please be sure to focus on your own self-care as much as you can and need to. (Read my guide to realistic self-care tips for new moms because it’s written with tired mamas like you in mind.)
- Seek Support When Needed: If you’re struggling, consider talking to a holistic sleep coach. With a gentle approach, you can put together a customized plan that honors your baby’s needs and your family’s goals, all at an affordable price.
💫 Join Gentle Sleep Society: Support for Your Sleep Journey
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your baby’s sleep challenges, Gentle Sleep Society is here to help. Our holistic sleep membership program offers:
- Expert-Led Guidance: Access to certified sleep coaches who specialize in holistic, baby-centered approaches. (No crying it out, ever!)
- Tailored Resources: Age-specific sleep strategies, tips for navigating regressions, and tools to build sustainable routines.
- Community Connection: Join like-minded mamas who share your commitment to gentle, responsive care.
- Live Q&A Sessions: Get real-time answers to your sleep questions from experienced professionals on our weekly coaching calls.
Parenting is a journey, and sleep is just one part of it. With Gentle Sleep Society, you’ll find the resources, support, and encouragement you need to embrace your baby’s unique sleep journey with confidence and compassion. Join Now and take the first step toward more restful days and nights!
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